Safe at Home

Turning adversity into a mission

Marie Wendorff is warm and friendly, generous and gregarious. The owner of Witchy Poo, a small accessories shop in Wilton, Wendorff is the kind of woman that makes you feel like you’re walking into her living room rather than her store. And in fact, her actual living room is just upstairs—a one-bedroom apartment above her shop is home for her and her three children. “I never want to move,” she says. Though I doubt that she ever pictured her life this way. Growing up, she had a bedroom that was bigger than her entire apartment is now. She came from a “privileged” background, and up until about six years ago, her life was moving in a very different direction. She had the lovely home, the growing family, and, on the outside, everything seemed perfect. But behind closed doors, things were far from it.

Wendorff’s ex-husband suffers from drug and alcohol addiction. He was mentally abusive and controlling, leaving her for days at a time with no contact. There was late-night partying, excessive spending sprees, failed attempts at rehab, stalking, harassment, and ultimately physical abuse. Marie went from being a young suburban mother to a woman in the middle of a messy divorce, struggling to pay her mortgage and support her children.

Her life had reached an all-time low. She had no money and she didn’t know where to turn. She contacted Father Palmer at Our Lady of Fatima church in Wilton, and he advised her to call Social Services. “I didn’t even know what that was,” she said. “But it was the best suggestion. They steered me in a direction to begin rebuilding myself.” Wendorff’s fight was far from over, but now she had help. She went on food stamps, energy assistance, and childcare assistance. Social Services donated money to have her hot-water heater fixed. They also had a pantry so that she could get paper goods, freeing her up to use her food stamps for food. They lent her such tremendous support, even providing Thanksgiving dinner at her door.

But the help didn’t stop with Social Services. “All of Wilton lifted me up,” she says, remembering. “There are angels,” she says, “and they live here.”

Those angels are walking among us every day. Tony Ramadani, the owner of Portofino Restaurant, helped her with her rent so that she could open her store. A friend provided her with a car when hers was repossessed. Others helped sell everything she owned. And the list goes on and on. “Wilton is your safety net,” she says. “You’re in the ring, and you have to fight. But Wilton is the one who is going to pull you aside and give you the water and hand you the towel and then push you back in there.”

And Marie Wendorff is a fighter. She fought for her freedom for years, ensuring that she would have a lifetime order of protection, which she says is really the only way that you are safe from someone like her ex-husband. And now she fights for others. She is still not in a position to give back monetarily, but Wendorff refuses to use that as an excuse. “I teach my children that you don’t need money to make changes. You can motivate people to make change.” And that is what she does. She motivates people. In February 2009, she and fellow Wilton resident Kim Fortuna founded “Families to Families” to raise money for Social Services. In April, Marie hosted “April Showers of Love” at her store. Local businesses donated food and beverages, and people were invited to bring a non-perishable food or other pantry item for Social Services. In December, she hosted a shopping event at Old Town Hall, again to benefit Social Services. Most recently, she used her store to collect clothing for the victims in Haiti. She has also hosted a toy drive and is always thinking of new ideas to give back to the community that helped her when she was so in need. And she doesn’t hide her past. She is a strong-voiced advocate for women who are victims of domestic violence, speaking about her experience at public hearings, at the State’s Assembly, and on the Oprah show.

Wendorff says that the tears of joy have outweighed the tears of grief over the past few years. Realizing the generosity of others and being able to give back herself has brought her such happiness that she is able to move on from her past and use it to propel her into what seems like it will be a very bright future.